You’re doing well in your career. You’re dedicated, skilled, technically competent, a recognized leader in your company and a valued employee. Your performance reviews are excellent, and your manager has complete confidence in your abilities. So why would you want (or need) an executive coach?

This is a good question to consider, so I offer some insights here that apply generally and also specifically to IT execs who want to flourish in their careers. First, in a recent article in The New Yorker magazine, a renowned surgeon talked about getting a specialized surgeon’s coach who could give him feedback on how he performed in the surgical suite. Although his outcomes were good, his reputation was impeccable and his interpersonal skills were excellent, he felt he was too comfortable, and wondered how he really did in all aspects of his work life and how he could improve. Knowing that he could not be objective about his own behavior, the surgeon decided that an outside set of eyes and ears would provide a mirror to his actual behavior. He wanted to improve, so he hired a coach.

Also consider this: In their book, Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives, Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler write about how changes in medicine, technology or finance will not work effectively without the appropriate behavioral change in the user. You can give out millions of mosquito nets to prevent malaria, but if people do not use them, they are useless. Vaccines prevent illnesses as long as people get vaccinated. The authors call this phenomenon "bio-social science" and think that in the 21st century, it is key to changing behavior.

How does this related to IT executives? It’s often said that people with technical training put less emphasis on interpersonal skills. But behavioral change requires a change in how we perceive the world and a trusted way to learn the new behaviors. Having a coach to reflect and build on what you do well is part of how extremely successful people stay at that uppermost level. They can assess your skills and work on nuanced behavior may result in better outcomes for you and your business team.

If we become complacent in what we do and stop striving for better outcomes when we are already successful, we also assume that we cannot change the behavior of others—an important trait for high-level managers. Many also think executive coaching is meant for the problematic or dysfunctional individual. But, in fact, all of us could benefit from the outside perspective on our behavior that coaching provides.

As The New Yorker article suggests, just as the best opera singers have singing coaches, the most celebrated athletes continue working with personal trainers — even when they are regarded as the best in their sport — and the top CEOs have coaches to use as sounding boards, shouldn't you have an executive coach as well?

So much has been written in the last few weeks, both pro and con, about raising children in the so-called “Chinese” Tiger Mom method. Included in this method is having high expectations, practicing behaviors that give rise to success, and being totally committed to that success. (I am not going to discuss what success means in this blog posting nor go into Amy Chua’s book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother).

One of the underlying assumptions in this Tiger Mom-philosophy is that intelligence is the most important factor, and that focusing on skills that enhance academic accomplishment, will lead to success. What is not stressed is the importance of what I call, Emotional Intelligence, and how self-awareness and being socially savvy leads to higher levels of success.

From MSNBC’s Morning Joe host Willie Geist (no, this is not sarcasm on my part), who has said that the best leaders are those who can build strategic relationships, to David Brooks of the New York Times who wrote, “They (kids raised this way) grow up skilled and compliant but without audacity to be great”, the notion is that there is more to happiness, success and greatness than academic excellence, highly refined technical aptitude or high IQ.

So what does all this have to do with Executive Coaching and the CIO? Over the years, I would say that the majority of coaching I have done is to enhance and build on executives’ Emotional Intelligence. Executive coaching is, first and foremost, about believing that the executive will succeed, similar to the Tiger Moms’ belief that the child will succeed. Both the coach and the Tiger Mom look at building new skills as practicing new behaviors. One of the major differences in the way I approach coaching, and there are many, is that my executive coaching stresses the importance of Emotional Intelligence. These skills are as important, if not, more important than the technical and scientific skills that got the executive to their current position.

Many executives reach a level where leadership is required, and that means knowing yourself  (self awareness) and how to motivate others to reach a specific goal (social awareness). This is where Emotional IQ comes in. Often, a technology expert has been rewarded for skills possessed in mastering technology (similar to those high-IQ 'Tiger' children), and not necessarily for understanding the culture of the organization, the people they work with, or how their behavior impacts the world of work. However, it is the CIO who has the ability to communicate the message, understand the organization, and is self-aware, who is usually the most successful.

I have found that those at the top are not always the smartest in terms of traditional IQ, but most have superb Emotional Intelligence—and that’s something that may be overlooked by Tiger Moms who are grooming future leaders.